CREEPY AS SHIT

so say you fancy a little 'alone time'. a bit of a de-stresser, some me-time.

You know what I mean, right? right?

I MEAN YOU WANT TO MASTURBATE.

so you settle down with your tools all ready to get to work and then...

YOUR VIBRATOR STARTS TALKING TO YOU!!!

wouldn't you think you'd gone insane? or that your mother had walked in on you? or that God was shouting at you?

really, who the fuck thought a talking dildo would be a good idea? never mind naming a sex toy freddy. look at that evil face on it! i wouldn't let that thing anywhere near my-

now here's an idea i can get on board with. vibrating shorts. how convenient! you could have naughty time anywhere. on the bus, at a friends, in the cinema...

i haven't thought about actually doing that. but it would be pretty fucking sweet to have the option.

FUK-U-OK-U 9000

this one even looks like a finger. really now.

so yes i watched the mtv movie awards last night. yes it was very funny when kstew dropped her award (um hilarious actually, bitch). even more funny when kstew and rpattz reenacted their famous onscreen kiss (oh you guys). and the trailer...
... yeah, about that...
... WHY DOES JASPER HAVE TO BE THE VICTIM?

it just gets to me! he has to take all the blame for edward going all emo on us. so he attacks bella (while looking hawt!). so WHAT?