Virtual Vagina

Found this on eBay. The description amused me:

"REALISTIC VIRTUAL MALE MASSAGER.
COMES WITH MASSAGER, SUPER SILKY TALC, MULTI SPEED POWER SOURCE.
ITEM IS BRAND NEW AND IS STILL BOXED."

Note: yet another sex toy disguised as a massager! But, fair enough on eBay. Wank away!

Living Vicariously

I do have one friend who knows of my sexual confusion. She herself is a lesbian. And not in the least afraid to talk about it. I met her in my last year of high school at a gig and we've been friends ever since. At the time she was going out with this guy that she was totally in love with but not in the least attracted to. To this day she suspects she's actually bisexual. Anyway...

She's gone off to Sheffield Uni this year and every few weeks I'll receive an email filled with news of her various sexual exploits. I know she's not rubbing it in (at least I think she isn't), but it still makes me wonder about the life I could have had if I was more like her.

It's a vibrator!

It's advertised as a "back massager". For fucks' sake, it's a vibrator! I can almost guarantee that everyone who purchases it does so with the intention of self-love (and I don't mean a nice back massage).
And what is so wrong with that?! Why must we be ashamed of our carnal instincts!

Masturbate away my friends!

I was

Horny. So I decided to set up this blog and write crap about how horny I was. But it took so long to set up that now I'm not horny anymore.

Well, not as horny. Being nineteen, virginal and very possibly gay; I'm always horny. To certain degrees.

A message to the people I work with: I have a few male co-workers who often ask me if I would "do" one of the girls working in another department. They don't know of my sexual confusion, so my only viable response is to roll my eyes, but if they did I would tell them to stop picking such ugly, polished, bitchy girls and then they might get the response they're after.

I might be gay, but that doesn't mean I don't have standards. And honestly, I'm not really into bleach blonde bimbos with no knowledge or concern beyond X Factor, highlights and topshop.