Fuckety Fuck Fuck

ah it's been a while methinks.

let's have some vibrator giggles!

I really liked this one! v.cute. and how functional - a sponge and a vibrator! but what made me giggle most was the description - "Vibrator can be used alone without sponge for personal massage..." its all in the ...

now this is just fucking creepy. the idea isn't completely crazy, but a rubber duck in bondage wear??? is that really necessary? and the name! I rub my duckie! holy shit, my childhood memories are forever tainted.

CREEPY AS SHIT

so say you fancy a little 'alone time'. a bit of a de-stresser, some me-time.

You know what I mean, right? right?

I MEAN YOU WANT TO MASTURBATE.

so you settle down with your tools all ready to get to work and then...

YOUR VIBRATOR STARTS TALKING TO YOU!!!

wouldn't you think you'd gone insane? or that your mother had walked in on you? or that God was shouting at you?

really, who the fuck thought a talking dildo would be a good idea? never mind naming a sex toy freddy. look at that evil face on it! i wouldn't let that thing anywhere near my-

now here's an idea i can get on board with. vibrating shorts. how convenient! you could have naughty time anywhere. on the bus, at a friends, in the cinema...

i haven't thought about actually doing that. but it would be pretty fucking sweet to have the option.

FUK-U-OK-U 9000

this one even looks like a finger. really now.

so yes i watched the mtv movie awards last night. yes it was very funny when kstew dropped her award (um hilarious actually, bitch). even more funny when kstew and rpattz reenacted their famous onscreen kiss (oh you guys). and the trailer...
... yeah, about that...
... WHY DOES JASPER HAVE TO BE THE VICTIM?

it just gets to me! he has to take all the blame for edward going all emo on us. so he attacks bella (while looking hawt!). so WHAT?

not tagged

okay, so i stand accused and guilty of not blogging for... a month? i'm not going checking how long so deal with it.

or just check yourself.

i still have three exams. i won't lie and say i'm prepared, but i really have a freshman attitude (pretty much who cares as long as i pass, tis only first year). i mean really i should enjoy this apathy while i can :P

my girlfriend is fucking A++ but shes in 2nd year so she kinda has to study. not to say that i'm not seeing her but more in a kind of temporary fuck bunny status. want me to go into the details? tough, i don't kiss and tell.

anyways:

a film i can always watch: either Ferris Bueller's Day Off or St. Trinians
a book i can always read: definitely Jane Eyre
a band i can always listen to: the long blondes

How Do You Eat Yours

don't ask why i enjoy searching for vibrators masquerading as "massagers". its just funny. this one had me wondering though...

what the hell is that creme egg for???

(it was called the Golden Glass Adult Wand, btw)

Lifestyle Choice

i've been pondering downstairs deforestation lately. i mean, you're either one or the other, a bald eagle or a welcome mat. but there ain't no excuse for a little hitler.

ok so you probably don't want to know, but i prefer to leave a landing strip. shaving scares me. i even wax my legs and underarms, thats how bad razors scare the shit outta me.

but my girlfriend (can i just have a moment to gloat? my GIRLFRIEND! MY AMAZING, CUTE, FUNNY, TALENTED GIRLFRIEND) prefers the nubile look. i'm not saying that this is causing major conflict or anything. its kind of just like oh, thats interesting.

this leads me to another point: why do boys have so fewer decisions to make than girls?